OOTD: Quirky Vintage Blazer
Autumn always makes me feel like something in my life needs to change. Sometimes it’s my hair. Sometimes it’s my wardrobe. Or my throw pillows on my bed. Or my shampoo. Or the air freshener in my car (nothing is safe). I’ve always been the kind of person that squirms in the face of complacency and stagnation, so it’s usually this time of year (when the temperature drops to a reasonable number and I can walk outside without sweat immediately pooling on my lower back) that makes me take inventory of the things that are going well in my life and the things that could use some improvement.
I think most people find this same feeling at the start of the year, when the slate is wiped clean and the future is completely malleable. To me, as the leaves fall from the trees and the humidity is peeled away, I feel the same layers shedding from my own life. I purge my closet, the negative thoughts, the bad habits. I take stock of the things that I would like to change–goals, relationships, personal qualities, etc.
For the first time in a long time, I feel confident in my relationships and my own well-being. I look forward to making plans with people and I have so much gratitude for the friends and family in my life who have always encouraged me to pursue my dreams. In the year and a half since graduating from college, I've finally been able to prioritize the things and people that bring me peace and happiness. I journal regularly about my moods and the things that affect them. I make a conscious effort to reach out to my long distance friends more frequently–something I’ve never really prioritized before.
I say this to admit that while everything else in my life seems to be going well, I think the changing weather will also bring a new season in my professional goals. I’ve been working at Warby Parker for a few weeks short of a year and I can honestly say that I’m grateful for everything the experience working for such a great company has given me thus far. I don’t know if I will continue to grow my tenure at Warby or pursue opportunities elsewhere, but I feel like I’m on the cusp of something major.
I’ve felt this same feeling exactly three other times in my life. The first was the night before my sister and I made the decision to move in with our dad during the first few weeks of my senior year of high school–a decision that transported us 6 hours and two states away and essentially informed each decision I’ve made since. It led me to the decision of where to attend college, which brought the second instance of this feeling the night before I moved into my dorm. The last time this feeling hit was the night before I moved out of my parents’ house the summer after college and into my Nashville apartment to start my job at Warby.
In each of these instances, I am overcome by this feeling that I’m standing on the edge of a diving board, waiting for the fear to subside so I can jump in. I would lie awake in bed, unable to think about any one thing in particular but likewise unable to clear my thoughts. The nerves and uncertainty about how my life would change and what it would mean for who I would become wrapped around my brain like a warm blanket.
Of course, the feeling that I have now is different in the sense that I’m not lying awake in bed the night before a big move. I just renewed the lease on my apartment, so I don’t think (or at least I don’t hope) I will be packing up my things any time soon. Rather, this feeling is kind of a dull tug in the back of my head and the pit of my stomach (those organs are connected, right?) that something major is about to grip my life in the very near future. Looking back, I almost prefer the more certain uncertainty of starting at a new school. It’s so easy to fall into a comfortable routine and avoid the paralyzing fear of uncertainty. But aren’t life’s boldest moments those that happen when we take risks? When we plunge feet first into the cold water of opportunity and the pulse-quickening experience of change?
Over the next several weeks, I will be challenging myself to push my comfort zone and consider what I really want out of my professional life. I’m fairly in tune with my strengths and my passions (ahem, thank you for reading this passion project of mine), but what does that look like when combined with blind ambition? Honestly, I would be kidding myself if I even pretended to have answers. But I feel like wearing this blazer helps bring out my best #girlboss mentality so I can take on the workforce with my best foot forward. Do you have any accessories or articles of clothing that make you feel more confident or more empowered when you wear them? Leave a comment and let me know!